


Sleep

by MakeSadieStop



Series: Nothing Hurts [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Basically a declaration of love that drives Gaara to tears d'awww, Fluff, Insecurity, Insomnia, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 01:43:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11174403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakeSadieStop/pseuds/MakeSadieStop
Summary: Rampant insecurity keeps Gaara up at night, and Naruto is just not having it. It's so fluffy I'm gonna die.





	Sleep

Gaara has to ask just who it _was._

The thought is his own fault, of course. It must be, because physically, his position is the most secure one known to his species: next to another human. More than that, _curled into_ another human. Fingertips hooked in the holes of a fishnet shirt. Knees to his own chest, ankles to another’s knees. If he tilts in either direction, up or down, he’ll find his forehead against a pulse-beat.

But once the idea sneaks into his head, _that_ _closeness_ to _this human_ only makes it worse. The pulse and the beat are simple punctuation. Much longer, and they’ll be drums, until he’ll have to close the chorus with a _scream_.

He would have realized it earlier, if he hadn’t been so . . . the only single word that halfway does it justice is _high_. Give him two words, _in heaven_. Take away any maximum counts at all and he was _floating up to the clouds until he burst_.

Only then he was awake, and Naruto wasn’t. He was touching Naruto, and Naruto wasn’t touching him. And in the _groundedness_ , the _silence_ of it all, cool and sane and small enough for the poison to reach him—

 _He was not Uzumaki Naruto’s first kiss_.

It shouldn’t make Gaara stiffen so. Positions reversed, Naruto wouldn’t care one way or another. It was a pleasant surprise for him to hear that he’d been Gaara’s first, but if Gaara had instead been able to shrug, mention the kind of ‘killer kunoichi’ Naruto knew about, it wouldn’t have mattered.

 _Naruto_ wouldn’t lay awake in an entirely unexaggerated state of _pure terror_ from the moment the thought struck him.

But Gaara did. And Gaara is.

After a lifetime of psychological instability—six particular years of it being worse than others—Gaara has learned that self-analysis is very helpful. As long as his train of thought doesn’t take a dive into genocidal existential philosophy, everything will be fine. He doesn’t think that’s an immediate threat in this case, so that’s what he does.

He concludes that it’s a matter of _connection_. They started as enemies, but became comrades due to shared experience—their conceptions, their births, their early childhoods were all practically identical. From there, things went . . . sideways for Gaara, but that was necessary, to bring them together and make this connection apparent. And from that point on, Gaara must have always assumed that their lives would follow identical paths, romance and all. Never mind that Gaara was Kazekage by fifteen; it only took Naruto a few years to catch up.

Was that how this milestone worked, too? Was it only fair that here, _Gaara_ was the one who had needed to catch up?

But this is different. Gokage are appointed. A kiss is deliberate. In _true_ fairness, wouldn’t Naruto have waited for him?

Could Uzumaki Naruto have even known that there was something to wait for?

“I thought I told you to go to sleep.”

Gaara should have heard the pulse come back to waking. Then he should have felt the shift backwards that signaled Naruto examining his face. He was analyzing too loudly. Loud enough to wake him?

His best, least terrified reply is:

“I thought I told you I couldn’t.”

“I thought you told me you weren’t an insomniac.”

There it is again. A four-word protest muttered under duress of vigorous hairstyling, coming back to give him One Thousand Years of Death _over_ and _OVER_.

Naruto interprets the stewing silence as an opportunity for smugness. “Ya know, fake-sleeping works best when your eyes are _closed_.”

“I wasn’t faking sleep. I was thinking.” It comes out before Gaara can consider the consequences.

“About?”

Gaara doesn’t know how he’ll dodge such a direct inquiry.

***

As it turns out, “breakfast” is an entirely plausible reply, and a highly successful stalling tactic, when one is dealing with the Seventh Hokage.

At least, it is until Naruto finishes his cereal, because the first word out of his mouth that doesn’t smell of grain-dusted milk is “spill.”

“That’s mean. I like orange juice.”

“Not your glass, your _secrets_.”

“You know them all.”

“Not what really kept you up.”

“I was afraid that you would leave.”

“That’s not my shinobi way, so try again.”

Naruto is employing ruthless interrogation tactics. He’s leaning halfway out of his chair so that he’s staring Gaara down, nose-to-nose. Gaara’s eyes are drawn to _one point_ on the face before him, and he betrays himself by blurting it out.

“Who was your first kiss?”

Apparently that’s not what Naruto was expecting, because he flops back into his seat. He stares at Gaara for a while: _did you say what I think you said?_ Then he raises his eyes to the heavens, helplessly: _can you believe this guy?_

Gaara is quite certain that he knows Naruto well enough to translate his eyes by now.

He’s already gathered up the bowls, preparing to bring them to the sink—he’s ready to _wash_ them _himself_ , this situation is so stressful. So he almost drops them to the floor when Naruto’s monologue to the ceiling is broken: “Sasuke.”

“ _Uchiha?_ ”

“How many Sasukes do you _know_?!”

This must be a sore spot.

“It was an accident,” Naruto rushes to clarify.

Kissing is not, as it turns out, necessarily deliberate. Gaara takes note of this, but decides against asking for details.

His original question has been satisfied, but Naruto isn’t done.

“Then . . . um, I’ve kissed Sakura on the cheek a few times. Brother-sisterly.”

Gaara is a brother with a sister. This inspires no terror at all.

Though he’s rather concerned when he notices that Naruto has begun to count on his fingers.

“A couple of other accidents, CPR, crazed-post-war-fangirls, that kind of thing—I don’t really count those, but if it keeps you up at night, I’m not leaving _anything_ out—oh, yeah, Hinata!”

Gaara prays that ‘oh, yeah’ means ‘I remember’—not ‘ahh, good times.’

“She’s really sweet and motivational and everything, so after the war ended, there was a . . . _something_ , and it involved a kiss. Yeah. I think that’s everyone?”

Naruto clasps his hands, concealing the disheartening number of extended fingers. He smiles nervously, not at the ceiling.

It’s not until Naruto’s facial muscles get tired enough to frown that Gaara realizes he should say something.

“Thank you.”

Naruto _winces_. That must have come out cold, not cool.

“I was curious,” Gaara adds. Friendlier.

“And scared?”

“Why would you-?”

“I’m a curious guy, but questions don’t keep me up at night unless they’re scary.” A pause.

 _Impassioned_ , suddenly, the burst fierce enough that Gaara jumps backward against the counter. “But you really _shouldn’t_ be scared, ya know? Because I’m _here_ , with _you_.

“I mean, I get it. Maybe I’ve kissed and been kissed by and had my face shoved at _a_ _few other persons_ before now, but the _last_ _person_ I kissed was you. And as far as I’m concerned, the last person I’m ever _gonna_ kiss is you. I wanna _die_ kissing you. Well, I don’t actually actively _want_ to die, _contrary_ _to_ _popular belief_ I’m _not even a_ _masochist_ , but—you’re crying?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Nonono, _I’m_ sorry, because when I started talking you _weren’t_ crying, so it must be my fault.”

“It’s a compliment.” That’s all Gaara can manage before he begins the desperate search for a tissue. He’ll settle for a paper napkin.

“Here.”

When did Naruto get this _close_? So close he doesn’t just offer the tissue, he starts dabbing.

“Thank you.”

Naruto doesn’t wince this time. Maybe because Gaara’s voice is so much softer now, tentative. He doesn’t step back, either. Not even when the tissue is used up and tossed away.

“Happy tears?” Naruto ventures.

The _pipe_. Honest-to-sand _the PIPE_.

“Happy tears or asthma attack, that’s what I’m betting. Blink once for happy, twice for asthma?”

Once.

“That’s good. Didn’t want to break you again when I _just_ fixed you.”

Gaara can’t cry any _happy tears_ now. They’ll blur the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

“But my work’s not done. You’re still an insomniac.”

Gaara knows better than to deny it again.

“You get ready now. I’m fixing that, too.”

Uzumaki Naruto has made up his mind, and who is Gaara to stop him? How _can_ Gaara stop him when his feet no longer touch the ground? One arm under the crook of his knees, another wrapped behind his shoulders.

Foxes are just as sneaky as the world believes. Gaara would like to tell him so, but the damn pipe is still acting up.

“We’re going to bed now.”

 _We. Bed. Now._ On a loop until his legs are rearranged and the impact reaches his chest. He can feel the same beat skipping underneath him.

“Gaara, you _will_ sleep, and you have _no_ excuses.”

Naruto relinquishes his waist for long enough to gesture expansively at the surrounding mattress.

“As you can see, you’re pinning me down. I can _only_ move my arms, and you could even stop that if you _really_ wanted. I _definitely_ can’t run or even _stand_ , so take those trust issues and you know where to shove them.”

Gaara’s not sure that he does know, but he’s intrigued. And ready to cry some more happy tears if they wouldn’t just fall on Naruto’s face.

“Also. _At_ _any point_ that you start freaking out about my kissing history—will you smack me if I call it a kiss-tory? No, your sister’s the one with the backhand— _anyway_ , you are at _perfect liberty_ to lean right down and reassure yourself.”

Naruto’s not finished talking, or he would.

“And in case you need some kind of _physical_ motivator—”

Such a strange emphasis. An even stranger feeling.

“—I _will not stop_ petting you until I hear some cute little baby-tanuki snores.”

Gaara won’t even object to the suggestion that infant tanuki _can_ snore, or that he is anything like one. He lets his face fall forward into Naruto’s pulse, and he lets the fingertips tap and stroke along the back of his neck, and he lets himself drift off.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh good lord this is what happens when I listen to Twenty One Pilots' sad-happy songs before I write.  
> It turns out so much fluffier than the others, and that makes me happy because these two are happy, but I really hope I didn't lose the emotional depth?  
> So, couple of notes-  
> I borrowed from the anime a little bit here with the Sasuke kiss. All the other ones mentioned may or may not have happened, but I'm not quite through the first animated series yet so--ahhh, it was just there for creative license/foreshadowing/further angst/etc. I'm still working LARGELY from the manga.  
> I also wanted to explain why Naruto's full name shows up at certain points where it seems kind of redundant. There's a point in the manga--I couldn't tell you the number, but I believe it's after the Kimimaro/Gaara fight--where Gaara just says Naruto's full name with such /reverence/ and /adoration/. He's staring at the sky and it just carries such /wonderment/ in that context... Honestly, that was the moment that got me into this ship, so I /needed/ to reference it. I use Naruto's full name, hopefully in a way that carries that kind of wonderment I found so enchanting, whenever Gaara is just /struck/ by that feeling of 'I love this big dumb fox-boy with all my soul.'  
> One last thing-  
> Gaara obviously has at least a lil bit of pent-up sexual energy and stuff, but he's still so pure because? He barely even realizes it??  
> This hit me most while writing what he's thinking about all the angst surrounding not being Naruto's first kiss-  
> Because he's so inexperienced that he still has this subconscious idea that kissing is one of the biggest things you can do?  
> (I'm particularly looking at the line "...he'd been Gaara's first..." here.)  
> Maybe it's testament to my not being so pure myself, but that's a phrase usually associated with (loss of) virginity, but Gaara's applying it to his first (though admittedly a mind-blowing first) kiss.  
> It rocked his world /and/ gave him a brand-new source for his angst, bless him.  
> Okay, /that's/ all.
> 
> Kind of a preview/idea I've been tossing around for the next one-  
> I really want Temari and Kankuro to come in, see the compromising-even-if-we-know-it's-mostly-innocent position (Gaara's sleep-straddling him for crying out loud), and just be the overprotective but tender big bro/sis that I know them in my heart to be. It'll be smaller than I want, so I don't lose the plot in that, but-  
> Temari would totally be the one to say Naruto's in for it if Gaara gets hurt, while Kankuro would try to give Gaara the 'boyfriend talk.' Just saying.


End file.
